Hello there, and welcome to Thursday Movie Picks, a weekly series hosted by
Wandering Through the Shelves where you share three movies to fit the theme of the week each Thursday.
For this first week of April we have to pick three films that are so bad they are actually good. I don't usually enjoy bad films, but there are some exceptions, and here they are, my three favourite bad/good films:
Staying Alive (1983)
Imagine a sequel to “Saturday Night Fever” that sees Tony Manero trying to succeed as a professional dancer on Broadway, and that is directed by Sylvester Stallone. Okay, now add a terribly hilarious play called “Satan’s Alley”, where a man descent into hell made of laser lights, and scantily clad women. Probably the only Broadway play ever made that is just about dancing. No singing, or talking, or character development. But it’s funny as hell. Sorry for that.
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)
Five years after a kid finally killed Jason, a series of grisly murders begin anew as another hockey-masked killer begins killing off everyone. Well, the world didn’t really need another Friday the 13th, but since we all love money, they decided to make this script-less thing, thrown in some of the worst plot twists ever, add some useless, one dimensional, and unlikable characters, and not even show Jason. But like every single film, this one too has its highlight. The name is Ethel, she is tremendously hilarious, and I doubt I’ve ever had so much fun and laughed so hard while watching a horror.
The Wicker Man (2006)
This American remake stars Nicolas Cage as a sheriff that investigates the disappearance of a young girl from a small island. While I’ve haven’t seen the original – though I’ve heard it’s good -, this one features a paper-thin and unengaging plot, ankle-deep motivation, and an awful soundtrack. To cheer everyone up there’s Nicolas Cage unintentionally hilarious acting that makes up from his character, so badly written that one feels anything but compassion for him. And the man’s clothes are perfect throughout the whole film, if that doesn't make this film great, I don't know what it does.
My only problem with Staying Alive is that it crapped all over SNF. Other than it's an unintentional laugh riot.
ReplyDeleteI love F13 flicks, mostly for their ridiculousness. This one is no exception.
Classic Cage going Cage. Like Staying Alive, this also took a dump on its predecessor. I do recommend the original, but be prepared that that's an odd film, on its own.
Yaasss The Wicker Man. That movie was hilarious when it absolutely shouldn't have been.
ReplyDeleteI've seen clips of The Wicker Man and... yikes, does it look awful. I've likewise heard of the awfulness of Staying Alive but haven't had the "pleasure" of watching it. I've seen the first Friday the 13th but horror isn't my thing (and slashers even less so), so I haven't felt the need to deal with the others.
ReplyDeleteOh I have heard the Wicker Man remake is horrible but hilariously so. I think many films with Nicholas Cage will be on people's lists today. Staying Alive is a very bad film
ReplyDeleteTerrific picks! I've only seen Staying Alive, that sucker's a piece of overbaked ridiculousness. I've seen the first Fri 13th but I'm not a slasher flick fan so I'll never see that pick. I recently saw the original Wicker Man, it was odd but interesting, but have heard the remake is a disaster which apparently is right.
ReplyDeleteI've been looking forward to this week and ended up with a couple of bonuses.
*The Best of the Worst*
Valley of the Dolls (1967)-“You've got to climb Mount Everest to reach the Valley of the Dolls.” And when you do you face plant right into this hooty mess based on the notorious best seller. A roman a clef about the messy backstage lives of three career girls looking to make it in showbiz is scuttled by leaden direction and absurdly overdone or somnambulant performances. Susan Hayward is terrific as vicious stage star Helen Lawson, based on Ethel Merman and Sharon Tate touching as the doomed Jennifer but everything else is a shambles. The worst offender and therefore the most fun is Patty Duke (RIP Patty) as Neely O’Hara, an amalgam of the tortured souls of Judy Garland, Betty Hutton and Frances Farmer, there is no scenery left unchewed when she’s done with it. The hairspray and makeup costs alone must have taken up half the budget!
*Getting In Touch With Your Inner Bad Movie*
Skidoo (1968)-Crime boss “God” (Groucho Marx) forces retired mobster Tony Banks (Jackie Gleason) to perform a hit on an incarcerated prisoner by kidnapping Tony’s daughter and holding her on his yacht. But the plan goes awry when Tony unknowingly drops acid and goes on a mind-blowing trip. Things go downhill from there! What begins as a silly but not dreadful generation gap comedy devolves into an incoherent mess capped by the horrifying sight of Carol Channing, playing Gleason’s wife Flo Banks (no, really), in long platinum wig, admiral's hat and red hot pants singing the title tune. Just when you think it can't get any worse Frankie Avalon sings the credits! ALL OF THEM! It's as ghastly as it sounds and yet hilarious at the same time. A great many respected actors, Peter Lawford, George Raft and Mickey Rooney among them, shred their reputations for a paycheck.
*The Frightfully Atrocious Big Star Debacle*
The Conqueror (1956)-John Wayne is GENGHIS KHAN!!...battling the Tartar armies where he takes redheaded (?) Tartar princess Susan Hayward and her servant, an equally Caucasian Agnes Moorehead prisoner. I repeat John Wayne is Genghis Khan! Yeesh. As absurd and ridiculous as the film is it has a somber aftermath. It was filmed in Utah near a nuclear testing site and about half the company, including all the principal players, died from cancer linked to fallout exposure.
*Screamingly Awful Runner-Up*
Scorchy (1976)-This tacky turkey is bargain-basement claptrap starring Connie Stevens as Seattle narc Jackie Parker aka Scorchy, with a voice one octave below Minnie Mouse, a frosted wing hairdo that is both a marvel and a testament to the bad taste of the 70’s and a wardrobe straight out of Frederick’s of Hollywood. She’s about to blow the lid off an international heroin ring but when she’s not chasing bad guys down in a high speed-dune buggy or chopper she finds time for a long steamy shower or a nooner with a lover who is harpooned on top of her as she screams like Fay Wray! AIP exploitation flick is cheesy beyond belief all the way up to its self-important finale…but don’t worry “Scorchy” is on the case!!!
*The Abominably Infamous Bonus*
Can’t Stop the Music (1980)-This musical purporting to tell the story of how The Village People formed starts with Steve Guttenberg getting his boogie on by roller-skating under the credits down a New York street in ultra-short shorts and only gets wackier from there. Includes a performance of Danny Boy in full cop drag, a production number devoted entirely to milk and other jaw dropping items including a rendering of Y.M.C.A., part of which takes place in a packed men’s shower! Ya gotta see it to believe it!!
Haven't seen the first two.
ReplyDeleteThe original Wicker Man was really good. I hope you see it. The remake was just awful. I don't even find it like hilariously bad; I think because I've seen the original and just being able compare it make the remake just bad bad.