Monday, 28 August 2017

Jaws 3-D (1983)

Genres

Horror, Thriller

Director

Joe Alves

Country

USA

Cast

Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr., John Putch, Lea Thompson, Harry Grant, P.H. Moriarty, Dan Blasko, Liz Morris, Lisa Maurer, Kaye Stevens

Storyline

Mike (Dennis Quaid) and Sean Brody (John Putch), the sons of former police chief Brody, must protect the people at the Sea World Park as a 35-foot shark wreaks havoc on the visitors.

Opinion

After watching the not-so-bad Jaws 2, I knew the franchise would get worse. What I did not know was how worse it would get with Jaw 3-D, a jaw-dropping awful addition to the series.

The plot has never been particularly smart but this time is worse than ever. The whole idea of a baby shark and the (over)protective mother shark is very stupid, and the shark wreaking havoc in the amusement park part would have been decent if the writers knew what the hell they were doing.

Unfortunately, the cringing screenplay isn't the only problem with Jaws 3-D. And it isn't even the biggest. This film is tremendously boring simply because the director wasn't able to deliver any tension and suspense. Those scenes that are supposed to be tense are so recycled they are just dull and unappealing. Same goes with the soundtrack that completely fails at giving you the chills.

But that's not all. Wanna know what's the icing on the cake? The special effects. They are absolutely horrifying. They are silly, cheap and laughable. I'm pretty sure a kid could do better than this by drawing a shark on Paint. Or maybe not. But in the kid's defence, he/she's just a kid, not a professional.

3 comments:

  1. hahahaaaa-I got confused since I thought this is the one with Michael Caine but that must be the next Jaws flick which, ready...is worse than this one. I saw both and just could not understand why these actors even appeared in this crap.

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  2. Tried to warn you. And I'll try again. Part 4 is even worse.

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    Replies
    1. I've heard some very, very, bad things about it

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