Something like 5 years ago, when I fell in love with Michael Fassbender (don't get me wrong, I still love him) and decided to watch all the movies he was in, I tried to watch Jonah Hex. It was so terrible, I quit after 30 minutes. Since my taste in movies has changed a lot over the past 5 years, I thought it'd be fair to give it another try, and it was as terrible as I remembered.
During the American Civil War, bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) witnesses his family die at the hands of Confederate general Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) and can't get his revenge as Turnbull apparently dies in a hotel fire. Turns out he is still alive and wants to bring the Union down, and President Grant (Aidan Quinn) wants Hex to stop him. Which basically means Hex would get his revenge.
I know it looks like the film has a plot, but trust me, it doesn't. All it has is the main character seeking revenge, a story that has been done to death and doesn't have anything to stand out from the others. If anything, it makes the others look better.
What really pisses me off is that Jonah Hex has a quite good beginning, presenting the central character decently and showing how the Hex got his trademark aka the ugly face injury, but after that it's a complete mess. Nothing makes sense, there are holes as large as Julia Robert's smile, the dialogue is atrocious and almost incomprehensible and the characters are paper thin and have no development whatsoever. Quentin Turnbull is worse than your typical Marvel villain, that's how bad he is.
Unfortunately, the awfulness doesn't end with the script. Everything else is equally horrible. For a movie based on a comic, it has very little action and those scenes completely lack excitement. They are pretty boring, to be honest.
However, the worst element in this movie is easily the acting. Not a single actor gives a decent performance, they all suck. Some more than others. Yes, I'm talking specifically about Megan Fox. She's hot but she cannot act. That's a fact. I wonder why actors like Josh Brolin and John Malkovich decided to work on this.
I know it looks like the film has a plot, but trust me, it doesn't. All it has is the main character seeking revenge, a story that has been done to death and doesn't have anything to stand out from the others. If anything, it makes the others look better.
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| Warner Bros. Pictures |
Unfortunately, the awfulness doesn't end with the script. Everything else is equally horrible. For a movie based on a comic, it has very little action and those scenes completely lack excitement. They are pretty boring, to be honest.
However, the worst element in this movie is easily the acting. Not a single actor gives a decent performance, they all suck. Some more than others. Yes, I'm talking specifically about Megan Fox. She's hot but she cannot act. That's a fact. I wonder why actors like Josh Brolin and John Malkovich decided to work on this.
Fassbender was in this? I don't even remember that. I watched this when it was on TV once and I kept losing interest.
ReplyDeleteI was focused-ish only because I didn't have my phone anywhere near me.
DeleteIt's horrible, but I totally get why Brolin and everyone else agreed to be in it. It was a chance at being in a high-grossing, high-paying franchise. Even crappy superhero movies have made tons of money, so why not? This one didn't work out, but I don't fault them for taking the chance.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. If I were in their shoes though, I don't think I would have made a movie like this.
DeleteHanno fallito in tutto... Nemmeno il fumetto regge
ReplyDeleteOh that is one terrible movie. I remember Fassbender didn't do horribly here, though
ReplyDeleteHe exists, he can't do horribly :P
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