My brother lives for blockbusters. Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but these huge movies are pretty much all he watches. And don't you dare to tell him a film suck if it made tons of money at the box office because, in his logic, if a movie makes money then it's great; if it doesn't make money, then it's not. Now and then, however, there's that one film he hates and, coincidence or not, that film usually bombed. These are the movies I'm focusing on after my hiatus for this week's Thursday Movie Picks, the weekly series hosted by Wandering Through the Shelves.
Fantastic Four (2015)
Four young outcasts, Reed Richards (Miles Teller), Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), Sue Storm (Kate Mara), and Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), teleport to an alternate universe which gives them powers. When they come back to Earth, their friend, Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), is jealous, becomes their enemy and they must fight him. As if the first film wasn't bad enough, they decided to make another one. And it was terrible. Both in terms of film quality and money. There's Michael B. Jordan, I'll give the film that.
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry. The plot is courtesy of IMDb because the film was so bad my brother suggested I'd stay the hell away from it and so did I. It's not like I had read any positive review anyway.
Pixels (2015)
When aliens misinterpret video feeds of classic arcade games as a declaration of war, they attack the Earth in the form of the video games. Again, thank you IMDb for providing the plot because this one too I managed to avoid. Once again, I have to thank my brother for it. He went to the movies to see this. I don't know what he was expecting, honestly.
I watched Jupiter Ascending, and I tried so hard to write an actual review, but I couldn't work out what the hell even happened in that weird movie!
ReplyDeleteJupiter Ascending was so insane it was actually funny :P There's some bullshit about bees in it, I don't remember exactly, but it was so preposterous it was actually impressive they got to make that film
ReplyDeleteMmm... I'm still going to stay away from it😅
DeleteThe only one I've seen all of is Fantastic Four, which I hated. And I hated that they wasted Silver Surfer, who is cool as hell, on the second one either more. I've seen parts of Jupiter Ascending and it looks so bad. Pixels I feel like had potential, but I don't know what exactly happened as I never bothered to watch. It was probably the actors they chose.
ReplyDeleteI know right! What a way to ruin Silver Surfer
DeleteGreat list! I haven't seen Fantastic Four, but I've seen Pixels and it wasn't that good.
ReplyDeleteHere’s my Thursday Movie Picks!
Ronyell @ The Surreal Movies and TV Blog
Well, at least you managed to avoid Fantastic Four. I wonder whether we'll ever get a good movie about them.
DeleteHopefully soon!
DeleteStyle over substance in a bad way? I'm even more certain I don't want to see that movie now.
ReplyDeleteI'm 0 for 3 with these though I've heard of them all.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the first Fantastic Four. It wasn't great art but I had fun with it, Chris Evans was a scream as Johnny Storm and I'm a Ioan Gruffudd fan so I was good. Therefore I saw no need for a remake only ten years later and once I read the reviews it was clear that it was a wrongheaded decision in every way.
I like a good sci-fi every now and then, Outland, Aliens and The Martian are all films I loved, but Jupiter Ascending never sounded close to any of them. Too bad since I like all three lead actors.
Pixels never appealed to me in the slightest.
I chose three that had notoriously troubled production histories and then landed with a huge thud on release.
Cutthroat Island (1995)-Morgan Adams (Geena Davis) inherits her late buccaneer father's galleon and one-third of a map to buried treasure located on Cutthroat Island. The map had been tattooed on her father's scalp, and to find the treasure, she must locate and scalp his two brothers. But Morgan's swashbuckling uncle, Dawg Brown (Frank Langella), wants the treasure for himself, and does battle with his headstrong niece and her unwilling accomplice, Latin-speaking physician William Shaw (Matthew Modine). Really not a bad film, it’s no masterpiece but an okay action flick but its production was deeply troubled and delayed ending up costing somewhere in the vicinity of 115 million 1995 dollars and grossing merely 10 million in the States. Adjusted for inflation it is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the biggest money loser of all-time with a loss of $148 million. Star Geena Davis was married (not for long) to the film’s director Renny Harlin.
Heaven’s Gate (1980)-In 1870 Jackson County, Wyoming a battle erupts between the area's poverty-stricken immigrants and its wealthy cattle farmers. Sheriff James Averill (Kris Kristofferson), tries to strike a balance but the politically connected ranch owners fight the immigrants with the help of mercenary Nathan Champion (Christopher Walken). While the battle rages Champion competes with Averill for the love of local madam Ella Watson (Isabelle Huppert). It’s nearly four hour runtime is a trial even though it has some beautiful images. Michael Cimino’s infamous follow up to The Deer Hunter was plagued by his ego run amok and cost overruns. Originally budgeted for 11 million (48 million today) its eventual cost of 44 million ($190 mill in current dollars) and box office take of only 3 million (12 million) caused the collapse of United Artists studio.
Supernova (2000)-When Nightingale 229, a deep space hospital ship, answers an emergency distress signal from a distant galaxy, the crew (including James Spader, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster and Lou Diamond Phillips) soon finds itself in danger from the mysterious young man (Peter Facinelli) they rescue, the alien artifact he smuggled aboard and the gravitational pull of a giant star about to go supernova. Once again an extremely troubled production period (three directors came and went, the original director twice!) the film’s budget was 90 million (135 million today) and tanked on release taking in a little under 15 million (22 million) worldwide.
I have a crush on Chris Evans since I saw him in that Fantastic Four movie lol he was pretty funny too in that one
DeleteOmg, you picked like 3 films I dislike with passion. Last one I haven't even seen and I dislike it out of principles. :D To be fair, picking blockbuster flops could be fun because you can trash bad movies but I went with the less angry approach. I would have demolished the first two picks otherwise. And I didn't want to scare people. :D
ReplyDeleteI went with these because I don't want people to make the terrible mistake and watch them lol
DeleteOh boy, Fantastic Four and Jupiter Ascending...I have a STRONG dislike for both of those movies!
ReplyDeleteJordan is the only saving grace in Fantastic Four because eye candy 😍
DeleteI have seen the original Fantastic Four which was ok I Guess but no desire to see this one nor the other 2. Pixels sounded horrendous from the get go. I am so late coming here
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, better late than never. Also, I commented on yours yesterday so I guess we're even 😅
DeleteI used to watch the Fantastic Four cartoons and loved them, so I'd always want to check out a live action version of it. I know this 2015 version is said to be terrible but I still want to see it.
ReplyDeleteThe only one I've seen is Jupiter Ascending. It is such an ambitious movie that didn't quite work. I think it's one of those so bad it's funny. There this scene of Eddie Redmayne as the villain having a screaming fit and it was so over the top ridiculous it was funny.
Oh god... now I wanna see that movie!
DeleteI've not seen any of these! Derp. I almost went to see Jupiter Ascending but then life got in the way, which I guess I should be thankful for given how much people trash it. Pixels looked fun, but... it's just one of those movies where I almost watch it but then I realize there are better movies I want to see first.
ReplyDeleteI almost watched Pixel several times but then I realised I would be only wasting time and took it off my watchlist.
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