Monthly Recap: April 2020

Oh hey, it's May! Another beautiful month of (semi) quarantine, and another month for me to live my best life by sleeping almost till 7, wearing leggings all the time and not dealing with people as bars aren't allowed to re-open before June 1st. Seriously though, I'm kind of enjoying the quarantine life as I have time to experiment in the kitchen — look at this pizza and my 2020 collection on Instagram —, to workout properly, to learn new things such as German and doodling as well as things about myself I wasn't fully aware of, and, of course, to watch films and catch up on TV series.

And what a month of catching-up April was! I finally finished watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and I loved it more than I thought I was going to. Sure, it was a nice series but I just didn't like the message it sent and I just failed to see it as the feminist series people say it is. But episode after episode, season after season, the characters and the series's focus changed so much I ended up loving it. And, although it made me sad Rebecca didn't pick Greg, I'm actually very happy she made that decision. Also, I could relate to Heather so much. And can we please talk about that Backstreet Boys vibe Nathaniel has and how they milked that? 

I also watched Tiger King — I had only seen an episode in March — but I wasn't crazy about it. While it's a very interesting and batshit crazy story, I found that they stretched it too much and as a result, some episodes or parts were boring and uninteresting. Carole, though, she totally killed her husband. And finally started Mad Men, which I'm not exactly loving. Don't get me wrong, it's good. But I'm currently watching season 2 and I just find it less compelling than the first one.

And of course, I'm watching season 2 of What We Do in the Shadows because that series is fucking brilliant and hilarious, and Nadja is simply the best. If you are not watching it, I'm not really sure what you are doing with your life. Also, Apple TV+ is blessing us with bearded Chris Evan porn. I mean, a great crime drama miniseries, Defending Jacob, where Chris Evans plays an assistant district attorney whose 14-year-old son is accused of the murder of a school mate. You gotta love Apple for sacrificing accuracy in favour of Chris Evans playing a DILF.

Movie-wise, I did great in April as I watched 18 between first time and rewatches, which is the new 2020 record. Bless thy quarantine!

Pineapple Express (2008) | Rewatch

Plot: When Dale (Seth Rogen), a lazy process server and stoner, witnesses a murder by a crooked cop (Rosie Perez) and the city's most dangerous drug lord, he panics and dumps his joint of Pineapple Express at the scene. Unfortunately, Dale learns that his dealer Saul (James Franco) is the only one selling the Pineapple Express and the two wind up on the run. 

There's one film I've been religiously watching every year for my birthday, Easy A, as I've had some shitty birthdays in the past years and that film always cheers me up. Since this year's was unique I changed movie and rewatched this one. And it was just as funny as I remembered it. And Seth Rogen and James Franco will always be my favourite duo.

Rating: 3,5

Dogman (2018)

Plot: Marcello  (Marcello Fonte), a small and gentle dog groomer, finds himself involved in a dangerous relationship of subjugation with Simone (Edoardo Pesce), a former violent boxer who terrorizes the entire neighbourhood. In an effort to reaffirm his dignity, Marcello will submit to an unexpected act of vengeance.

Frankly, I don't know why I even bothered watching this film given the way I felt about Matteo Garrone's Gomorra and Tale of Tales. It didn't come as a surprise that  I ended up hating the film. The story didn't compel me at all. The characters, I didn't feel anything for them, not even for Marcello's daughter, and Marcello himself is such a disappointing character. I kept waiting and waiting for him to develop and grow as a person but it never happened.

Rating: 1

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

Plot: As if an asteroid hitting Earth in three weeks, destroying all life on it, wasn't enough, Dodge (Steve Carell) is left by his wife and tries to carry on regardless. Things take an unexpected turn when he meets his neighbour, Penny (Keira Knightley), and the two embark on a road trip so that Dodge can reconnect with his high school sweetheart and Penny can reunite with her family back in England. 

Probably not the best film to watch during a pandemic but it's a nice, sweet and humorous spin on the end-of-the-world genre and it has such a warm and uplifting ending. Also, Carell and Knightley are both great and their chemistry is just beautiful.

Rating: 3

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020) - Review | Rewatch

I still can't believe I loved it as much if not more than the first time. Please watch it if you haven't already. 

The Legendary Giulia and Other Miracles [Noi e la Giulia] (2015)

Plot: Three strangers looking for a turning point in their lives, car salesman Diego (Luca Argentero), telesalesman Fausto (Edoardo Leo), and restaurateur Claudio (Stefano Fresi), decide to buy an abandoned agritourism together. But the trouble is just around the corner as the local mafia bosses start showing up asking for pizzo.

Suggested by a friend of my mother's not one but almost five years ago, this Italian comedy was quite a pleasant surprise. It's not the most insightful or smart film out there, but it's definitely better than the average modern Italian film, the story is nicely developed, the cast has nice chemistry and Luca Argentero is hot — why don't men on Italian Tinder look like him?!

Rating: 3

Twilight (2008) - Twitter Thread | Rewatch

Plot: When her mother remarries, teenage Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) decides to live with her father (Billy Burke) and moves in the rainy town of Forks, Washington. She doesn't expect much from the new setting but she changes her mind as soon as she meets Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), the mysterious boy all the girls in school have a crush on.

I was probably fifteen and hormonal the last time I saw this film so of course I loved it and drooled all over the place whenever Pattinson was on screen. But now it's daddy Swan who is getting all the drool — and occasionally Mr. Cullen. As for the film, it isn't terrible but it isn't that good either. The soundtrack is amazing though, and Victoria is gorgeous and her hair is a character on its own.

Rating: 2.5

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) - Twitter Thread | Rewatch 

Plot: Bella (Kristen Stewart) is celebrating her birthday with her new boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) and his family of vampires when she cuts herself. The sight of blood proves to be too intense for the Cullens and they decide to live Forks for Bella's sake. Depressed and heartbroken because she no longer has her sparkling vampire, Bella finds comfort in reckless living and a new difficult relationship with Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who happens to be a werewolf.

There's not much to say about this film other than the fact that Bella has more chemistry with Mr. Cullen than she has with Edward and Jacob put together. That romance would have probably been more compelling than the two we got.

Rating: 2

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) - Twitter Thread | Rewatch

Plot: Bella (Kristen Stewart) once again finds herself in danger as Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and Victoria (Dallas Bryce Howard) continues her quest for revenge. As if that wasn't enough, she is forced to choose between Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Jacob (Taylor Lautner).

The highlight of this film? Me making vampire jokes about Dallas Bryce Howard's Victoria paling in comparison with Rachelle Lefevre's. Why on earth did they change her?!

Rating: 2

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) - Review

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Plot: With the Earth being unrelenting assaulted by aliens called Mimics, Major William Cage (Tom Cruise), an officer who has never seen a day of combat, is forced to join a suicide operation. Luckily for him since he's killed within minutes, he finds himself in a time loop, reliving the same combat day over and over, fighting and dying again and again. But with each day, Cage learns more about the aliens and, along with Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) who was trapped in the time-loop before him, he tries to defeat them.

I avoided this film literally for years because I thought it'd be just another bland action film. The fact that my brother enjoyed it made it even harder for me to believe it'd be a good film. Well, I couldn't have been any more wrong. Not only Edge of Tomorrow provides a nice twist on the time-loop genre, but it provides a compelling story, humour, plenty of excitement and great action sequences and special effects.

Rating: 3.5

Bonnie and Clyde (1967) - Review

Schubert in Love: Vater werden ist (nicht) schwer (2016)

Plot: The last of his family line, middle-aged Olaf Schubert (Olaf Schubert) doesn't have time for a girlfriend but dutifully searches for one when his father (Mario Adorf) who keeps demanding for a grandson falls ill.

This film is one of the few German films available on Italian Netflix, reason why I decided to watch it. I hope this was the worst one otherwise I'm doomed. The story is pretty stupid and the humour isn't that smart either, but what bothered me the most is how unlikeable and annoying the main character is and that, despite all the bad things he does and says, Pamela (Marie Leuenberger), a bright woman with a career, decides to be with him. This was written by "men" and you can tell.

Rating: 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011) - Twitter Thread

Plot: Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) "finally" get married and take a beautiful honeymoon to a private island. Unfortunately for Bella, Edward has super sperm and gets her pregnant the first time they have sex. Which would be wonderful news if it wasn't for the fact that the unborn child is eating Bella from the inside.

The saga reached a whole new level of stupidity with this one as Bella and Edward honeymoon on a gorgeous deserted island and spend their time playing chess. But I guess what I have in mind isn't appropriate for teenagers. The film is a slight improvement on the two previous instalments as it's a tiny bit more compelling.

Rating: 2.5

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) - Twitter Thread

Plot: Now a vampire, Bella (Kristen Stewart) begins to enjoy her new life with her husband Edward (Robert Pattinson), their daughter Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy) and Jacob (Taylor Lautner) who is now the kid's guardian. And once again she finds herself in danger when someone tells the Vulturi the kid was turn and they make their way to Forks to dispose of the child.

Frankly, I don't even know what to say about this one. I'm still disgusted by that whole werewolf pissing on people to make the territory thing. Anyway, it keeps the improvement of the first part so I guess that's a good thing. Also, ripped Jacob stripping in front of hot daddy Swan is probably the highlight of the film.

Rating: 2.5

The Truman Show (1998) - Review | Rewatch

Extraction (2020)

Plot: Tyler Rake (Chris Hemsworth), a fearless mercenary as well as a broken man with nothing to lose, is hired to rescue the kidnapped son (Rudhraksh Jaiswal) of an imprisoned Indian crime lord (Pankaj Tripathi). 

I'm not going to lie, weren't for Chris Hemsworth being in it I would have never watched this Netflix original and I wouldn't have missed much because the film, while quite engaging and somewhat tense, is an average action thriller flick. Hemsworth going full Rambo was hot as hell though and made the watch so worth it.

Rating: 3

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Plot: After a bank robbery, Seth (George Clooney) and his psychopath brother Richie (Quentin Tarantino) takes hostage a former minister (Harvey Keitel), his daughter (Juliette Lewis) and son (Ernest Liu), as they have an RV, Seth and Richie's only chance to make it to Mexico, where they have to meet their handler the next morning. However, waiting from dusk till dawn at the rendezvous point turns out to be quite the challenge.

I've been meaning to watch this for years and only gave it a chance last Sunday because it was about to be removed from Netflix. It wouldn't have made much of a difference to be honest if I missed it. Don't get me wrong, it's not a terrible film. I was really enjoying it at first but then that vampire twist kind of ruined it for me. Sure, I didn't see that coming so the twist worked but I'm just not into this stuff.

Rating: 3

Chocolat (2000)

Plot: Single mother Vianne (Juliette Binoche) moves with her six-year-old daughter, Anouk (Victoire Thivisol), to a conservative town in rural France and open a chocolate shop just as Lent is beginning. The town's small-minded major, Comte de Reynaud (Alfred Molina), does his best to shut her down, but Vianne's incredible chocolates win over many townsfolk. Things get shaken up even more when a group of river drifters, led by Roux (Johnny Depp), stop into town.

Every woman seems to love this film in my country so I decided to give it a shot (this too before it was removed from Netflix) and frankly, it was quite a disappointment. Sure, the story is nice, the performances from Binoche and Dench are great, and all that chocolate made me crave for hot chocolate on a hot day so I'll give the film that, but overall I just didn't see a Best Picture nominee. Also, drooling over Johnny Depp, not my thing. Chocolate, on the other hand...

Rating: 2,5