Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Genres

Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

Director

Michael Bay

Countries

USA, China

Cast

Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Titus Welliver, Sophia Myles, T.J. Miller, Peter Culler, Mark Ryan, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, John DiMaggio, Frank Welker

Storyline

Five years after the battle in Chicago, the Autobots are hunted down by retired CIA Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer), and Optimus Prince turns to a mechanic (Mark Wahlberg) for help.

Opinion

I remember being pretty excited when Age of Extinction hit the teachers because of the dinosaurs. So you can imagine my disappointment after watching a two and forty-five minute (too) long film that barely had any robotic dinosaur in it. Three years ago, that was my only complaint. Today, well, that's what bothered me the lesser.

This poor excuse of a film has a very straightforward yet exhaustingly confusing plot that makes no sense whatsoever, it is filled with holes, it is tremendously boring and, to be honest, this is the second time I see this and I'm still not quite sure what's going on and who's the villain.

No, actually that's not true. I know who the villain is. Wrong, I know who the villains are. There's so much of them is hard to keep the score. What's even worst is that in almost 3 hours, the filmmakers weren't able to properly develop any of them. They tried to provide some backstory but they failed miserably.

And can we please talk about the good guys? I would have never thought I'd miss Shia LaBeauf and Sam Witwiki, but then Mark Wahlberg and his mechanic happened, a weak character that's impossible to root for, and that's pretty much the guy Wahlberg always plays with the exception this time he is the father of the hot girl. Which brings me to the next point, the hot girl. An utterly annoying character whose only purpose is to... I bet you can guess that. And the level of racism and sexism showed overall with the characters is beyond ridiculous.

Being offensive isn't the only thing Age of Extinction is good at; it also pretty good at failing as a dumb action flick. The fight scenes are messy and dull. And let's not even talk about the CGI, simply horrendous.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Genres

Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

Director

Michael Bay

Country

USA

Cast

Shia LaBeauf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Patrick Demsey, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Keiko Agena, Lester Speight, Josh Kelly, Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, Glenn Morshower, Buzz Aldrin, Bill O'Reilly, Elys Baskin, Andy Daly, Mindy Sterling

Storyline

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeauf) is yet again trying to start a new, normal life. Unfortunately, the Autobots and their human allies discover a lost piece of Cybertronian technology, and Sam discovers a conspiracy by the Decepticons who plot to use it for their own evil purposes.

Opinion

Just because you don't believe it can happen, it doesn't mean it won't happen. That's what I like to tell myself after watching a movie like Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Because I thought the series hit the bottom with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen but Michael Bay just had to prove me wrong.

Everything is terrible in this one, starting from the script. It easily qualifies as one of the worst script ever. I mean, the story isn't just plain stupid but it's complicated as well. Because apparently, the writers weren't up to write a story that was both stupid and simple. They tried to do what Nolan did with Inception, and you don't do Inception unless you are a filmmaker/writer worth of being called so. Also, if you are trying to write a smart story, you should probably avoid all those plot holes that make it look like Swiss cheese.

The terrible writing also expands to the characters. From Autobots to humans, there has to be somehting like a million of characters, one more stupid than the other, one more meaningless than the other. Starting from Sam Witwicky's new girlfriend, "played" by a dreadfully Rosi Huntington-Whiteley whose presence is almost unbearable to Patrick Dempsey's pathetic human villain. Because Decepticons weren't enough, the film needed more villains. Not to mention the other pointless characters that completely wasted talented actors such as Frances McDormand and John Malkovich.

The dialogue doesn't get any better. It is simply pathetic. Just like the jokes, they are so not funny and fall flatter than a crêpe. Food aside, any attempt at humour is painful to watch.

What's even worse though is that Transformers: Dark of the Moon isn't even the stupid action-packed blockbuster I was getting used to with this franchise. The action is terrible as well. There are just too many explosions, too many scenes that try too hard to be special or memorable. And the special effects, well, they weren't that bad six years ago in a theater in 3D but now, on a small screen in 2D, there's really nothing great about them.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Genres

Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

Director

Michael Bay

Country

USA

Cast

Shia LaBeauf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, John BEnamin Hickey, Glenn Morshower, Matthew Marsden, Rainn Wilson, Marc Evan Jackson, Katie Lowes, Peter Cullen, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Tony Todd, Hugo Weaving, Charlie Adler, Frank Welker

Storyline

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeauf) leaves for college ready to start a normal life, but then his mind starts being filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he's dragged back into the Transformers' war.

Opinion

As expected, since Transformers made a lot of money, a few years after the first movie, Michael Bay came back with Revenge of the Fallen, an action flick that has quite a lot to envy to its predecessor.

The special effects are still fantastic, even better than they were in the first movie, and most of the action is still great, still, the film doesn't manage to be as entertaining as it should be mainly because of the action itself. A lot of the action sequences are too loud, too long and not very exciting. Not to mention the very disappointing battle between the good buy aka Autobot leader and the bad guy aka the Fallen that barely lasts half a minute. Seriously, Bay? You have us waiting two and a half hours for a fight that should be epic but ends up being terrible. 

To that add a story that manages to be even more stupid than before, filled with as many plot holes you can think of and underdeveloped and one-dimensional characters that aren't that interesting, and so annoying they prevent you from caring for them. And it sure doesn't help having a terrible cast. 

Another problem with Revenge of the Fallen is the humour. There are so many lame teenage jokes it's hard even to keep count and the gags are just plain stupid. Not to mention that most of the jokes aren't even funny.

But frankly I don't care, this is Michael Bay, things were going to get ugly sooner or later anyway. 

Transformers (2007)

Genres

Action, Sci-Fi

Director

Michael Bay

Country

USA

Cast

Shia LaBeouf, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor, John Turturro, Jon Voight, Michael O'Neill, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Amaury Nolasco, Zack Ward, W. Morgan Sheppard, Bernie Mac, John Robinson, Peter Cullen, Mark Ryan, Darius McCrary, Robert Foxworth, Hugo Weaving, Charlie Adler

Storyline

After buying his first car who turns out to be an alien robot (Peter Cullen), teenager Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) finds himself in the middle of a war between two alien races, the Autobots and the Decepticons.

Opinion

Since it's been ten years since its release I don't remember what kind of expectations I had for Transformers; I'm not even sure I had any since I was 13 back then. Anyway, what I do remember is that I liked the film, a lot, and I've seen it a lot of times, and each time I have a wonderful time. So, yeah, I guess Michael Bay was able to make a quite good and entertaining movie after all.

Okay, maybe good isn't the most appropriate word here since this film is pretty flawed, starting from the plot. It is poor, quite stupid, unrealistic - but I guess it's fine for a sci-fi flick -, has several pointless subplots - who cares if Megan Fox's character has a criminal record? - and so many holes it looks like Swiss cheese.

The bad writing is also extended to the ridiculous, monotonous and uninteresting dialogue. Not to mention the one-dimensional characters among which the humans stand out for being extremely unlikable and being delivered by a terrible cast. The voice cast, however, did overall a good job, especially Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime and Jugo Weaving as the evil Megatron.

Now that I've pointed out how bad the script is, let's talk about the good stuff. I never thought I was going to say this but I have to give credit to Bay for being able to entertain with so little. In spite of all the flaws, he managed to make the story engaging and enjoyable.

And thanks to the fantastic special effects and gripping action sequences, the two and a half hours will fly by.