Zoolander 2 (2016)

Genre

Comedy

Director

Ben Stiller

Country

USA

Cast

Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penélope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Sting, Christine Taylor, Cyrus Arnold, Kyle Mooney, Beck Bennett, Nathan Lee Graham, Justin Theroux, Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, Katy Perry, Demi Lovato, Benedict Cumberbatch, Justin Bieber, Kiefer Sutherland, Ariana Grande, John Malkovich

Storyline

Derek (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) are lured into modeling again, in Rome, where they find themselves the target of a sinister conspiracy.

Opinion

The really, really ridiculously good looking guys are back with "Zoolander 2", this unfunny sequel that instead of being a cleverly dumb comedy like its predecessor, it's just a dumb film.

The plot is ridiculously bad. While the first film had a clear focus - Derek being brainwashed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia -, this one is a mash of disjointed stories and situations - they are looking for whoever is behind the death of several celebrities, then they are trying to find Derek's son, then they are trying to go back into the fashion industry - that are never coherent.

But this is a dumb comedy, right? Wrong. There is almost nothing funny in this film. The well-written jokes of the first film are long gone, and in this sequel the comedy can't even be defined so. In fact, the "comedy" basically relies only on celebrity cameos to make the audience laugh, and the jokes consistently miss the mark.

The characters, Derek, Hansel and Mugatu, are still the same from the first film, seriously, dumb - the first two only - and well played by the actors. Unfortunately the new characters are bad, just like everything else. As much as I loved seeing Benedict Cumberbatch in this, I found his character quite insulting towards the transgender community. I know that was supposed to make fun of the fashion industry and androgynous models but it just felt inappropriate.

The best moment of the film is when Justin Bieber dies. Unfortunately, to see him die you actually have to see his face, and dreadful acting for a minute or so, and he also is the first person appearing on screen. So, yeah, pretty bad.

Bottom line, if "Zoolander" was eau de perfume, "Zoolander 2" is eau de toilette.

Fantastic Four (2015)

Genre

Action | Sci-Fi

Director

Josh Trank

Country

USA

Cast

Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson, Dan Castellaneta, Tim Heidecker

Storyline

Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend (Toby Kebbell) turned enemy.

Opinion

How many attempts does it take before making a film worth of the Fantastic Four, one of Marvel's best superheroes team ever? Apparently two isn't the magic number as "Fantastic Four" turned out to be another huge misfire that does not do justice to the team.

10 years after the mediocre "Fantastic Four", someone had the brilliant idea to re-imagine the origins of the team in a modern way. And to be honest choosing to make a reboot mostly focused on the adolescence of the future superheroes and villain was a great idea, the chance to make something similar to "X-Men: Days of Future Past". The filmmakers indeed dramatically expanded the relationship between Reed and Ben Grimm, but the script is so poorly written that the character's backstory still is incomprehensible, and the more the film progresses the more confusion is made.

The protagonists are nothing but spots on the screen, and instead of being the reason one would watch the film for, are just another boring component of the film. And don't let me start on the villain, he probably is the worst villain brought to screen ever!

The two most important factors in an action/sci-fi movie are a complete disaster as well. The special effects are very poor, especially The Thing that looks like he came straight out of a PS2 videogame. The action is almost non-existent, and utterly unengaging, and the final battle against Dr. Doom lasts something like 5 minutes.

The acting isn't better. I did love Miles Teller in "Whiplash", and he does put efforts in this film as well, but there is nothing he can do with the poor material he has been given. I was intrigued to see Michael B. Jordan as The Human Torch but he's completely wasted. Same goes with his adopted sister Susan Storm played by Kate Mara.

Norm of the North (2016)

Genre

Adventure | Animation | Comedy

Director

Trevor Wall

Country

USA

Voice Cast

Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Maya Kay, Ken Jeong, Colm Meaney, Loretta Devine, Gabriel Iglesias, Michael McElhatton, Bill Nighy, Salome Jens, Charlie Adler, G.K. Bowes, Debi Derryberry, Ben Diskin

Storyline

When a real estate (Ken Jeong) development invades his Arctic home, Norm (Rob Schneider) and his three lemming friends head to New York City, where Norm becomes the mascot of the corporation in an attempt to bring it down from the inside and protect his homeland.

Opinion

I am speechless. I've had my fair share of animated films in my 22 years, but never, and I repeat, never before I saw an atrocity like this one.

Easily one of the worst animated films ever made, "Norm of the North" is an embarrassing, horrendous film in every possible way, and while some believes it should have been released straight to DVD, I believe it shouldn't have been released at all.

The story, just another fish-out-of-water kind of story, is utterly boring and unengaging, and it's dragged on and on to fit in 93 minutes of life I'll never get back. The bear can speak human, so he is the one supposed to save the north from humans, but the character is so lame - a twerking bear, seriously? - you don't even care about him, and you are most likely to root for the bad guys.

Okay, this film targets a young audience so you may say it doesn't need to have a good story. What about the message that it is supposed to send to kids then? The film fails completely. It indeed takes for granted the severity of the environmental impact that a human settlement at the North Pole would cause, and even though the adults will understand that, I highly doubt kids will.

"Norm of the North" is also supposed to be a comedy. But is it fair to call a comedy a film that is so unfunny that the only person who would have a smile on his face while watching it would be the Joker? Or maybe not, because the jokes are so atrocious, maybe the Joker will find a way to erase that smile from his face.

And now the most important thing when talking about animated flicks. The animation. Guess what, it's atrocious, so atrocious if this was the first animated film ever made, it would have also been the only one. The early episodes of "The Simpsons" are better animated, and we all know how they looked.

Bottom line, unless you like polar bears twerking and/or you have the IQ of a peanut, don't watch it.

Everyone Says I Love You (1996)

Genre

Comedy | Musical | Romance

Director

Woody Allen

Country

USA

Cast

Woody Allen, Alan Alda, Drew Barrymore, Lukas Haas, Goldie Hawn, Gaby Hoffmann, Natasha Lyonne, Edward Norton, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Tim Roth, David Ogden Stiers, Itzhak Perlman, John Griffin, Patrick Cranshaw, Billy Crudup, Robert Knepper, Scotty Bloch, Isiah Whitlock, Kevin Hagan, Navah Perlman, Waltrudis Buck, Liv Tyler, Christy Carlson Romano, Frank Pietri, Andrea Piedimonte

Storyline

A New York girl (Natasha Lyonne) sets her father (Woody Allen) up with a beautiful woman (Julia Roberts) in a troubled marriage while her step sister (Drew Barrymore) gets engaged.

Opinion

How do you make the same film over and over again without people getting bored? You make it into a musical which is basically what Woody Allen did with "Everyone Says I Love You", pretty much the typical comedy of his that manages to be entertaining - and to be remembered - because of the music.

Allen draws us into this light comedy without many pretentions. The plot isn't anything special, just a lot of love-related stories tied together by family connections, but it's a wonderfully funny kind of story, and even though none of the stories have any great significance, they are made charming with some beautiful songs and dance numbers that sometimes seem to parody old musicals.

"Everyone Says I Love You" certainly isn't "Annie Hall" or "Manhattan", but it still has a typical , obvious Allen theme: getting everything you ever wanted but realizing that doesn't make you happy and therefore wanting to go back to the life you previously had.

The music and singing is great. Itzhak Perlman's violin music is wonderful, but the actors as well show great singing skills, and the acting performances are good overall - and it was wonderful to see Edward Norton, Natalie Portman and Tim Roth all in the same film.

Just like most of Allen's films, the comical situations are a must, as well as the neurotic characters that I have come to love. 

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Genre

Action | Sci-Fi

Director

Bryan Singer

Country

USA

Cast

James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn, Lucas Till, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Alexandra Shipp, Josh Helman, Ben Hardy, Lana Condor, Hugh Jackman, Stan Lee

Storyline

Upon awakening after thousands of years, Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) is disillusioned with the world as he finds it and recruits a team of powerful mutants, including a disheartened Magneto (Michael Fassbender), to cleanse mankind and create a new world order, over which he will reign. As the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) with the help of Professor X (James McAvoy) must lead a team of young X-Men to stop their greatest nemesis and save mankind from complete destruction.

Opinion

Even though "X-Men: The Last Stand" screwed up the original trilogy, I didn't think, not even for a moment, that the ending chapter of the prequels trilogy could have been a disappointment. I mean, Bryan Singer is still directing and every single X-Men flick he has done so far turned out more than just fine. After Wednesday night I don't know what to believe in anymore.

"X-Men: Apocalypse" is a poor X-Men installment that fails to live up to its name, and once again proves that the third is always quite considerably the worst film of a trilogy.

The writing is a real mess and the biggest problem of the film. The story feels flat and too many times focuses on the wrong thing. Ravel, for example, gets tons of screen time and most of the time her story isn't very interesting or meaningful. The dialogue is quite awful for the whole running time, and sometimes it gets very cheesy and dull. The character development is basically non-existent, and some of the younger mutants are treated like garbage almost like they were thrown in the story because they were short on mutants - why are Storm and Psylocke even here? Just to cast two good looking women? Same goes with Wolverine and Moira MacTaggert, I guess they wanted two big names in the film.

And the villain. Oh my god the villain. What have they done to Apocalypse? Not only he is one of the most powerful mutants, but he also has an interesting and complex story and I was very intrigued to see him on screen. And you know what they did to him? They turned him into just another bad guy that wants to rule the world. He is dull, not that menacing and he is "dismissed" quickly in a confused and not very engaging final battle.

However the film wasn't a complete waste of time and money. Magneto, which once again I repeat is my favourite mutant and villain, is treated a little bit better than the others. He gets some quality screen time and Michael Fassbender's performance is rock solid, but Singer eventually screws up.

One of the things I was excited about was Quicksilver. I am not a huge fan of him, but I love, absolutely love the way Evan Peters portrayed him in the past. I'm super happy to say that he was amazing. He easily stole the show with his slow-motion scene, a scene that was so amazing that topped that slow-motion sequence of him in "X-Men: Days of Future Past". And he brings some humour which is exactly what the film needed.

Sure, the special effects are great and so is the action, and I have to say that Oscar Isaac did a pretty good job as Apocalypse considering the poor script he had to work with, but this is not enough, especially if the film is a sequel to two great films.

Casino Royale (2006)

Genre

Action | Thriller

Director

Martin Campbell

Country

UK | USA | Czech Republic | Germany

Cast

Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judi Dench, Giancarlo Giannini, Jeffrey Wright, Simon Abkarian, Caterina Murino, Ivana Miličević, Isaac de Bankolé, Jesper Christensen, Sébastien Foucan, Tobias Menzies, Ludger Pistor, Claudio Santamaria, Richard Sammel, Clemens Schick

Storyline

Recently promoted to 00 status, James Bond (Daniel Craig) takes over his first mission, in which he faces a mysterious private banker to world terrorism and poker player, Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen).

Opinion

After "GoldenEye", Martin Campbell returns to direct James Bond, this time played by Daniel Craig, and he wins at the green table with "Casino Royale", arguably one of the best entries in the whole series.

First things first, the film has a strong and gripping plot that despite its 144 minutes doesn't bore, not even for a second. Also, this is not your typical Bond story and relies more on classical thrills - like the first James Bond - than technology - I know it's unbelievable but there are no gadgets in this film.

But that's not all. In fact, the action sequences, spectacular as they should be, are wonderfully balanced with brilliant dialogue - especially the conversations between Bond and Le Chiffre - that provides the viewer all the information necessary to understand the story.

Other than having a new face, James Bond is also a different man. He is more secure, tougher - killing in cold blood is not a problem for this Bond  -, and more serious, yet he still has a great sense of humour.

The other characters are great as well. Le Chiffre, the villain, is spectacular and probably one of the best villains in the franchise. And the Bond girl, oh boy. Finally she is not some dumb good looking girl, but she actually has a brain and know how to use it.

And the cast. As much as I dislike him, Daniel Craig makes a perfect James Bond, even though, if I have to be honest, he would have made a better villain. Mads Mikkelsen gives a good, enjoyable performance as La Chiffre. And at last Eva Green. Probably for the first time, she is not naked in this one and finally has the chance to show her acting abilities.

Thursday Movie Picks: The Internet

Welcome to another episode of Thursday Movie Picks, the weekly series hosted by Wandering through the Shelves where you pick three films each week to fit the theme of that week.

This week's topic is something I'm very familiar with, the internet. This should be easy, right? Well, it's not, because even though I spend a lot of time surfing the net, there aren't actually a lot of films I've seen or I know about the internet. I still managed to find three film, here they are.

The Social Network (2010)

Do I really need to tell you what this film is about? Okay, Mark Zuckerberg is an asshole who develops a global social network after stealing the idea from his Harvard fellows, makes a lot of money losing a lot of friends in the process. This is the film about the internet, everything about it is just spot on. The director, the script, the acting. And yes, Jesse Eisenberg is annoying as usual.

The Net (1995)

Sandra Bullock stars as a computer programmer who barely ever leaves her house which makes it very easy for some people to steal her identity through the internet and put her life in great danger. This isn't the sharpest film about the internet, but the great thing about it is that computer technology has evolved tremendously since 1995 and the film's topic, identity theft, it is more of a threat today than it was in 1995. And I love Sandra Bullock. 

You've Got Mail (1998)

The owner of a large bookstore chain wants to put a small local bookstore out of business. The hatred is mutual, but what they don't know is that they've been chatting online for a while and they are falling in love. Okay, this one is sugary and the stereotypical chick flick but it's quite enjoying and the chemistry between Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan is so beautiful it's worth watching.

Owning Mahowny (2003)

Genre

Crime | Drama | Thriller

Director

Richard Kwietniowski

Country

Canada

Cast

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Minnie Driver, Maury Chaykin, John Hurt, Sonja Smits, Ian Tracey, Jason Blicker, Chris Collins, Matthew Ferguson, Janine Theriault, Conrad Dunn, Mike "Nug" Nahrgang, Philip Craig, Tony Munch, M. J. Kang

Storyline

The story of Dan Mahowny (Philip Seymour Hoffman), a bank manager with a gambling problem ranging from horses to sports, to Atlantic City, that created dummy accounts at his back to gamble.

Opinion

Just like the protagonist of this film, I have an interest for gambling. Unlike the protagonist though, I don't have a gambling problem,  I'm just interested in seeing how the human mind works and how far someone can go. And what a better way to explore this topic than watching a film based on a true story? I'm pretty sure there is none, especially if the film is well structured. And this is that case.

Just like "The Gambler", "Owning Mahowny" is a detailed and devastating study of gambling addiction superbly portrayed by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

As mentioned above, the film is based on the true story of Brian Molony, a Canadian bank manager with a gambling problem that stole over $ 10 million of the bank's money, and right from the beginning it starts building tension keeping you wonder how far will he go, following the events that brings to the downfall of the addicted protagonist.

The filmmakers allow the story to develop slowly, giving the audience the chance to get to know Mahowny and to care for him. And you actually get to a point where it is painful to watch Mahowny digging himself deeper and deeper holes, and you start hoping he will, soon or later, stop. But he is an addict, and just like all the addicts, he doesn't care about anything or anyone, he just thinks about his next hit.

Then there is the real reason this film is worth watching: Philip Seymour Hoffman. He wasn't just a great actor, he was a genius. He owned every single role he played, and he surely did not make any exception here, where he plays the leading role, Dan Mahowny, in a way that no one else could, and shows us that beneath the addiction lies a desperate soul. John Hurt also gives another great performance as the casino owner intrigued with the addicted gambler, and Minnie Driver is perfect as Mahowny's girlfriend.

Zoolander (2001)

Genre

Comedy

Director

Ben Stiller

Country

USA

Cast

Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, David Duchovny, Jon Voight, Vince Vaughn, Judah Friedlander, Nathan Lee Graham, Alexander Skarsgård, Justin Theroux, Andy Dick, Andrew Wilson, John Vargas, Jennifer Coolidge, Tony Kanal, Nora Dunn, James Marsden, Patton Oswalt, Alexandre Manning, Asio Highsmith, Woodrow A. Asai, Mason Webb, Godfrey, Taj Crown

Storyline

At the end of his career as male supermodel, Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) is brainwashed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia (Woodrow A. Asai).

Opinion

I never cared for this film until the release of its sequel earlier this year that seemed like a huge deal. Everyone was talking about Zoolander's comeback and I died a little inside because because I didn't even know the guy. Long story short, I finally watched it, and I loved it.

"Zoolander" is probably one of the dumbest, more absurd films I've ever seen but it is so hilarious it doesn't even matter.

The story is definitely ridiculous and utterly insane and involves supermodels, lots of vanity and a conspiracy to murder the prime minister of Malaysia by the hands of a brainwashed model. It does sounds stupid, doesn't it? Well, that's how it is supposed to be.

But the plot is not that important. You actually couldn't care less, because what makes this film so entertaining are the jokes, the atmospheres and the parodies. I didn't exactly like "2001: A Space Odyssey" so seeing a parody of the monolith scene involving two dumb models trying to make a computer work was a lot of fun.

However, the film is not dumb as it looks. In fact, while it makes fun of the fashion industry, it also targets our image-obsessed culture that commodifies everything.

Ben Stiller proves is flexibility as a comedic actor - just watch this and "Meet the Parents" - and does a decent job as director as well. Owen Wilson always manages to find the humour in the role he plays, and the chemistry with Stiller is just beautiful. The funniest though are probably Will Ferrell and Jerry Stiller in their crazy roles.

Superman Returns (2006)

Genre

Action | Sci-Fi

Director

Bryan Singer

Country

USA

Cast

Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, James Marsden, Parker Posey, Marlon Brando, Tristan Lake Leabu, Frank Langella, Sam Huntington, Eva Marie Saint, Kal Penn

Storyline

After a long period in the space Superman (Brandon Routh) returns to Earth and once again must save the Earth from Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) who wants to create a new land and submerge the United States.

Opinion

In another review, about one month ago, I said that "Superman Returns" wasn't that bad. It has to be said that I saw the movie ten years ago, and in ten years my taste in films has changed a lot. And by a lot I mean that this film is not good.

Maybe making a sequel to "Superman II" after 26 years wasn't really a good idea. What Nolan did with "Batman Begins" a year earlier was purely brilliant, and Singer should have done something like that.

Instead, we got a story that takes place supposedly 5 years after the events of "Superman II" that thankfully ignores the events of "Superman III" and "Superman IV" but is weak, loaded with plot holes and relies so much on the Superman/Lois Lane love story that makes all the other characters unnecessary.

Singer didn't feel the need to develop any of the character other than Superman and Lois Lane probably because he assumed that everyone saw the first two films. To suffer the most from that is Lex Luthor that instead of appearing as a menacing man, he actually scares nobody. Also his plan is a rehash of 1978's Lex Luthor pathetic plan.

On the other hand, the musical score works well, the special effects are definitely improved - I'd be worried if they weren't, it has been 19 years since the last film - and the action sequences are pretty good and entertaining. But do they make up for the film's length? I'm not sure.

Worst of all, the acting. It is not bad, that's my point. It is completely wasted considering the poor outcome of the film. Probably cast because of his resemblance with Christopher Reeve - seriously, let's move on -, Brandon Routh does a fairly good job as Clark Kent/Superman. And so does Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor: despite the poor writing, he does have a few chances to show how evil Luthor can be.

Zootopia (2016)

Genre

Action | Animation | Comedy

Directors

Byron Howard | Rich Moore

Country

USA

Voice Cast

Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, Jenny Slate, Nate Torrence, Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake, Tommy Chong, J. K. Simmons, Octavia Spencer, Alan Tudyk, Shakira, Raymond S. Persi, Maurice LaMarche, Tom Lister Jr., John DiMaggio, Della Saba, Kath Soucie

Storyline

In Zootopia, a mammal metropolis, Judy (Ginnifer Goodwin), a rookie bunny cop, must work with Nick (Jason Bateman), a cynical con artist fox, to solve a mysterious case.

Opinion

I love animals, and I knew I would enjoy the film since I saw the trailer, but I wasn't expecting to like it this much. I haven't seen many animated flicks of this year but I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that this is going to be one of the best of the year. Disney's latest film "Zootopia" has indeed everything to make a great film.

The plot isn't really all that unique. I mean, after all, it is just a buddy story blended with a crime story, but it does feature several plot twists, action, suspense, and just like a true Disney movie it does deliver a powerful message that is very time-appropriate.

In fact, the film makes a commentary on inclusion, prejudices and racial issues and states that everyone should have a chance to change themselves or to change what other people think of them. It indeed touches a current and sensible thematic that is the (non)existence of a biological predisposition to crime for some races and ethnicities.

But it does not stop there. It also analyzes the concepts of civilization, not only biological but also moral evolution and the use of fear as a mean to govern.

Pretty heavy, right? But don't worry, while the adults can think about the film's multiple messages, the kids will sure love the film because of the cute and funny characters and the funny scenes, like the one with the sloths. Adults will have fun too thank to references to "The Godfather" and "Breaking Bad".

Needless to say, the animation is astonishing. Every character is beautifully animated, and they also did an excellent job in capturing the realistic movements of the animals.

At last, the voice cast does a good job as well. Ginnifer Goodwin and Jason Bateman have a great chemistry as the leading duo, Judy the bunny and Nick the fox. Everyone else is good as well, from Idris Elba to Jenny Slate, to J. K. Simmons. Finally, there is Shakira who delights the audience with a beautiful, catchy song.

Mighty Aphrodite (1995)

Genre

Comedy | Fantasy | Romance

Director

Woody Allen

Country

USA

Cast

Woody Allen, Mira Sorvino, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Rapaport, F. Murray Abraham, Olympia Dukakis, David Ogden Stiers, Jack Warden, Danielle Ferland, Peter Weller, Claire Bloom

Storyline

When his adopted son turns out to be a genius, Lenny (Woody Allen) becomes obsessed with finding the boy's real parents because he believes that they too must be brilliant. When he finds the real mother (Mira Sorvino), he is disappointed: not only she is a prostitute and porn star but quite possibly the dumbest person Lenny has ever met.

Opinion

After the interesting but unusual "Bullets Over Broadway", Woody Allen goes back to his roots with "Mighty Aphrodite", a funny and silly light comedy that is beyond entertaining.

Like he did in the past, Allen deals with domestic life and there is no doubt that this film too is largely autobiographical, but this time puts a hooker in the center of the story. A story that involves adoption, couple issues that require cheating to be solved, and the incredible idea of using a Greek chorus which is a different and brilliant way to deliver Allen's usual funny lines and observations.

The subplot involving Helena Bonham Carter and Peter Weller is somewhat less interesting and quite pointless: the viewer doesn't really have any interest in them because the whole story is focused on the weird relationship between Allen's Lenny and Mira Sorvino's Linda, hooker and mother of his adopted son.

However, the dialogue is quirky and clever as usual, and Allen delivers so many funny situations that make the film such an entertaining ride.

Allen once again plays a neurotic character, only this time he is fascinated with discovering who the mother of his adopted son really is. Then there is a particularly brilliant and sweet performance from Mira Sorvino who portrays the dumb hooker. Helena Bonham Carter as the wife and F. Murray Abraham as the Greek narrator are also worth of a mention because they both do an incredible work.

Mention-Worthy Quotes

Lenny: Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.

White House Down (2013)

Genre

Action | Thriller

Director

Roland Emmerich

Country

USA

Cast

Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Joey King, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Richard Jenkins, James Woods, Nicolas Wright, Jimmi Simpson, Lance Reddick, Rachelle Lefevre, Kevin Rankin, Michael Murphy, Matt Craven, Jake Weber, Peter Jacobson, Barbara Williams, Anthony Lemke, Vincent Leclerc, Garcelle Beauvais, Kyle Gatehouse, Falk Hentschel, Jackie Geary

Storyline

While on a tour of the White House with his young daughter, a Capitol policeman (Channing Tatum) springs into action to save his child (Joey King) and protect the president (Jamie Foxx) from a heavily armed group of paramilitary invaders.

Opinion

2013 apparently was the White House movies year and I managed to avoid them all. I recall seeing the trailer to this one though, and I even added it onto my watchlist. Not sure if because the trailer was exciting or because I was hoping to see a shirtless Channing Tatum.

Anyway, back to business, "White House Down" is an enjoyable and at times fun action flick that does fail on the thriller front.

The plot isn't the film's strong suit. It is poor and the narrative is awful as well, and it resembles a lot a Die Hard movie taking place in the White House. It does provide a little of a backstory concerning the motivation of the bad guy, but overall it is predictable and loaded with clichés.

That being said, it is pretty obvious that Roland Emmerich had a hell of a work to do to make this film work at least a little bit. I frankly don't know how he did it, but despite the poor writing and the predictability of the story, he managed to craft a film that is quite enjoyable and manages to keep you watching.

While the character development and dialogue keep on dragging down the film, the action does quite the opposite. It isn't anything extraordinary, but it is neither awful, and makes the film a little bit more tolerable.

As for the acting, Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx have a good comedic chemistry that manages to entertain, and the latter pulls off a quite good performance as the President of the United States. There was no shirtless Channing Tatum, but the two leading actors are arguably the best part of the film.

Die Another Day (2002)

Genre

Action | Thriller

Director

Lee Tamahori

Country

UK | USA

Cast

Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike, Rick Yune, Judi Dench, Will Yum Lee, Kenneth Tsang, John Cleese, Colin Salmon, Ho Yi, Rachel Grant, Emilio Echevarria, Samantha Bond, Michael Gorevoy, Lawrence Makoare, Michael Madsen, Joaquin Martinez, Vincent Wong, Madonna

Storyline

James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) is sent to investigate the connection between a North Korean terrorist (Rick Yune) and a diamond mogul (Toby Stephens) who is funding the development of an international space weapon.

Opinion

Twentieth entry in the franchise and Pierce Brosnan's fourth and last film as James Bond, "Die Another Day" is arguably one of the worst Bond films - if not the worst -, extremely dull, tedious and a huge insult to the intelligence of the viewer.

The plot, if it can be defined as such, is terribly stupid, utterly unengaging and confusing, and seems recycled from other Bond movies as the secret agent still has to stop a megalomaniac from world destruction.

The plot sure isn't the only problem concerning the writing. In fact there is no characterisation whatsoever. None of the characters have any motive to be around other than for the sake of putting other Hollywood names into the mix.

The dialogue sure doesn't get any better. It is atrociously bad, loaded with so much vulgarity one would expect from a cinepanettone, and lacks the charisma the previous films add, in particular the ones with Sean Connery.

But it isn't over yet. In addition to the terribly shot action sequences filled with a disproportionate use of special effects, the gadgets are freaking ridiculous as well, like the invisible Aston Martin. Seriously?

And I'm yet to mention the theme song. The awful theme song by Madonna to be specific with. As if that wasn't enough, Madonna also gets a pathetic cameo in the film.

I'm almost done, I promise. The acting is so bad it is more painful than sitting on a bed of nails. Pierce Brosnan is awful, so are John Cleese as Q and Judi Dench as M. Both Halle Berry and Rosamund Pike give pathetic performances as the Bond girls, and the Toby Stephen is awful too as the villain.

Thursday Movie Picks: Alien Movies

Welcome to another episode of Thursday Movie Picks, the weekly series hosted by Wandering through the Shelves where you pick three films each week to fit the theme of that week.

Good or evil, the world is full of movies about aliens, which is exactly this week's topic. Today I'm going with three films I liked - more or less -, they all involve at least one alien, but they don't alway are the good guys.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

This shouldn't require me telling you what it is about but just in case you have never seen it, a 10-year-old boy finds an alien, and not only they become friends but they also establish some kind of deep connection. This is the alien movie, one of the best ever made. I don't think I need to say more other than I expect this film to be quite popular this week.

Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

When aliens menace to destruct the Earth, the President of the United States has to call into action a crew of monsters that were secretly hidden in a government facility. This one isn't nothing special, but it still manages to be enjoyable and there's plenty of evil, maybe too dumb aliens.

The Avengers (2012)

Loki comes to Earth to subjugate the human race and brings with him tons of aliens that once again destroy New York City, and the Avengers must stop him/them. Okay, the aliens here are not so important, but I love the film and can we please talk about Tom Hiddleston's Loki? Simply scary. 

Alex Cross (2012)

Genre

Action | Crime | Thriller

Director

Rob Cohen

Country

USA

Cast

Tyler Perry, Matthew Fox, Edward Burns, Jean Reno, Carmen Ejogo, Cicely Tyson, Rachel Nichols, John C. McGinley, Werner Daehn, Yara Shahidi, Sayeed Shahidi, Bonnie Bentley, Simenona Martinez, Stephanie Jacobsen, Giancarlo Esposito, Ingo Rademacher

Storyline

Alex Cross (Tyler Perry) is on his last police duty to track down an assassin called Picasso (Matthew Fox), who's been torturing and killing rich businessmen in Detroit. Soon when the mission gets personal, Cross is pushed to the edge of his moral and psychological limits to end this once and for all.

Opinion

I haven't read James Patterson's novels nor have I seen the previous films about Alex Cross starring Morgan Freeman, so frankly I don't understand why I added this film on my watchlist in the first place. I still decided to give it a try, but what a mistake.

"Alex Cross" is like some kind of mockery for the thriller genre as it looks more like TV series material than movie material.

The writing is very, very poor. I used to watch CSI, and I liked it, but I kind of have higher standards when I'm watching a film that is supposed to be a thriller. The story is banal, superficial, completely unrealistic, lacks tension and fails to provoke any kind of engagement with the viewer.

I refuse to believe professionals, some guys actually paid to write, managed to write something as cheap as this movies' script. The film tries to explain what is going to happen before things even happen, completely killing the tension. If there was any. Something like this could have been made by a 5-year-old kid, not a writer. Sure, there is a final twist, but when you get there you won't even care anymore about what happens.

The film has huge problems with the cast as well. First of all, Tyler Perry. The guy does comedies and you can tell because the film is funny when it is not supposed to be. And Matthew Fox. I don't even like him - I really can't stand him on "Lost" -, but while he looks like he's having a lot of fun going around torturing people, I was annoyed. Still, like Perry, he managed to make the film laughable.

Not an epic fail though because the acting wasn't hundred percent garbage.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

Genre

Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller

Director

Dan Trachtenberg

Country

USA

Cast

Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, John Gallagher Jr., Bradley Cooper, Suzanne Cryer, Jamie Clay

Storyline

After getting in a car accident, a woman (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is held in a shelter with two Howard (John Goodman) and Emmett (John Gallagher Jr.), who claim the outside world is affected by a widespread chemical attack.

Opinion

Until a few months ago I was not even aware of this film. It came to my attention after reading many and many people saying it was amazing. At first I was a little skeptical, but when I learnt that Damien Chazelle co-wrote the screenplay my expectation grew exponentially. And thank god the film met my expectations.

A claustrophobic psychological thriller, "10 Cloverfield Lane" has enough tension and mystery to keep you glued to the screen, but without leaving science-fiction aside.

Other than the title, the film has very little in common with "Cloverfield". The story for instance is compelling for the entire runtime leaving room for no dead moments. It does never get boring, uninteresting or predictable. The plot goes from hostage film to horror, then a buddy film to horror again, to beautifully finish with sci-fi, and the transition between a genre and the other is done almost flawlessly.

Dan Trachtenberg's direction is remarkable - if he plays his cards right, he will become a big name in the industry -, and shows so much confidence many directors don't have even after years and years of experience.

The other thing "10 Cloverfield Lane" shares with its predecessor is the producer: J.J. Abrams. Another good news because the trailers have revealed basically nothing, in complete Abrams style.

The best part of the film is the cast. Mary Elizabeth Winstead gives a strong and believable performance as Michelle, the girl held hostage, and her likability does really help. John Gallagher Jr. nails his role - I say no more, I don't want to spoil the film. And finally John Goodman, the real star of the film. He has always been associated to comedic roles but here he proves he can do thrillers too. And he captures every single shade of his complex character.

I haven't seen many 2016 films but "10 Cloverfield Lane" is easily one of the best of the year.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Genre

Action | Sci-Fi

Director

Sidney J. Furie

Country

UK | USA

Cast

Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Jon Cryer, Sam Wanamaker, Mark Pillow, Mariel Hemingway, Margot Kidder, Damian McLawhorn, William Hootkins, Jim Broadbent, Stanley Lebor, Don Fellows, Robert Beatty, Susannah York

Storyline

Determined to kill Superman (Christopher Reeve), Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) creates Nuclear Man, an android that gets energy from the sun.

Opinion

A week ago I thought it was impossible to make a worse film than "Superman III". Today I think I won't believe in the impossible anymore.

A dreadful, painful to watch film, "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace" is a disgrace not only to Superman but to the whole superhero genre.

The story, if you can call it that, manages to be worse than ever with plot holes the size of the moon's craters - may the moon forgive me for mentioning her, but I had to since the Man of Steel goes up there to fight Nuclear Man - and has something like a million of uninteresting subplots that go nowhere. While the previous entry featured a drunk Superman kicking the shit out of Clark Kent - it was hilarious after all -, this one can claim a double date with Clark Kent, Superman, Lois Lane and Lacy Warfield that is one of the most depressing sequences in cinema history.

But the writing isn't the only problem. Not only the direction is non-existent, but everything else is just as bad. The editing is so poor it hurts. The cuts don't really go unnoticed as it looks like a butcher accidentally cut the film instead of meat.

The special effects join the party as well. They are terrible. T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. How did you even manage to produce such poor special effects in 1987? Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" had better effects, and it happened 20 years earlier. Freaking unbelievable.

But the worst part has yet to come. The acting. Oh boy the acting. Christopher Reeve still stars as the Man of Steel and Gene Hackman is back as Lex Luthor but it is not any good. They both gives atrocious performances. Not to mention the supporting cast among which there are Mariel Hemingway, the same Mariel Hemingway who was nominated for an Oscar in 1980, and Jon Cryer who plays a guy even more pathetic than Alan Harper.

I'm so glad the original Superman series is over. I wouldn't have been able to deal with something worse than this.