The Best & Worst of 2017

I think it's safe to say everyone in the blogosphere has already posted their best and worst of 2017 list. Then there's me who, for some reason or another, I kept postponing this. At some point, I used the fact that I hadn't seen Phantom Thread yet as an excuse to not write this.

Which would have made sense if I was expecting it to be one of my top movies of 2017. Spoiler alert, just in case you haven't read my review or as I post this I haven't posted yet (I've been watching 2-3 movies a day lately and there aren't enough days to post the reviews), I didn't like it that much.

Also, I watched so many bad, like really bad, movies that deciding which was worse than which was a real struggle. Which is why there's just an alphabetical list for those.

I know the title says best & worst but I'm the bad news first kind of person, so here are the worst 2017 movies I've seen (and there's a lot of them). But first some dishonourable mentions aka those movies that turned out to be disappointments: Atomic Blonde, The Beguiled, It, Mother! and Suburbicon

2:22

It has an interesting concept but it is poorly executed. It focuses on a terrible love story that eventually turns into a love triangle. The plot is contrived and twist-less. The dialogue is terrible but that's what the characters deserve.

 Alien: Covenant

I didn't have high expectation for this and I was right. The plot is boring and not thought through at all and at some point it involves Michael Fassbender kissing himself. The characters have no characterization whatsoever (I could only remember two of the names). The special effects are pretty bad too. 

Baywatch

I never watched the TV show but I knew it was stupid. I watched the movie anyway for Zac Efron and Priyanka Copra. It was a waste of time. The plot is ridiculous and unengaging, the characters are paper-thin stereotypes, the jokes fall flat and for some weird reason Efron touches a dead man's dick.

Bright

This too had an interesting concept, the problem is that it takes the plot 30 minutes to take off and when it finally does, it's boring, predictable and clichéd. The characters are shallow caricatures. I did feel sorry for Jakoby though, the orc cop played by Joel Edgerton. By the way, he does a good job.

CHiPs

Another one based on an old TV show, another failure. The plot is pathetic to say the least, the pacing is terrible, the characters are offensive, the humour is a combination of all that. This is probably the most tedious action film I've seen.

Eloise

I watched it because of Chace Crawford and his pretty face. And thank god because there's really nothing else to admire here. Nothing makes sense, there's no tension, no suspense. Not even a disturbing scene. The performances are horrifying though.

Fifty Shades Darker

The first one was terrible and that's exactly what I was expecting from this one. And it was terrible. It's basically a plotless porn that tries so hard to be a drama and that obviously fails. Also, the sex scenes are hilarious and the chemistry between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan is off.

A Ghost Story

It had a very interesting premise but the execution was terrible. There's no story and no development. The slow pacing makes it so boring and it feels like it goes on for an eternity. Some scenes are tremendously overlong. The acting is dull. At least we barely see Casey Affleck's face in this.

Home Again

Though it looked bad in the trailer I checked it out anyway because I love Reese Witherspoon. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't her average rom-com. The plot is clichéd, idiotic and predictable, it doesn't have any development and has a very unsatisfactory ending. The characters are obnoxious. Also, the film just isn't funny.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

I wanted to see this one in theatres but I eventually skipped it because of the reviews. That was a good call. I shouldn't have bothered watching it later though. It makes absolutely no sense. If you are not familiar with the story, you'll feel completely lost. Hollywood loves them romances but here, where there's supposed to be one, it's nowhere to be found. The characters are bland and boring. Unfortunately, the script isn't the worst part. That would be the special effects and the editing. I wonder who even edited this, Matt Murdock?

The Mummy

Universal is doing so great with their monsters reboots. I've only seen bits and pieces of the Brendan Fraser remake and nothing of the original one but I'm sure they both are way better than this one. Not only it has a paper-thin plot, huge holes and very little sense, it also has a boring and uninterested Tom Cruise and poor Sofia Boutella who finds herself playing a strong and independent woman who spends all of her time chasing her lover. The bad effects and editing are strong in this one too.

The Snowman

"Thank God I didn't wast my money to see this in theatres" that's what I told myself about 10 minutes in. Yep, this is that bad. The number of subplots that are introduced and never developed cannot be counted on the fingers of both hands. There's also a lot of characters with no characterization and development, and terrible acting. And its lack of suspense and tension makes it the most boring crime thriller ever.

Unforgettable

I love Rosario Dawson and I wanted to see Kathrine Heigl in something that wasn't Grey's Anatomy or a rom-com. I regretted it. It doesn't have an interesting plot, it doesn't have interesting twists, it doesn't have interesting characters, it doesn't have a tense chemistry between the leads.

There's a worst movie of the year though, it's Walk of Fame

This film has one of the lamest plots ever. It's basically a bunch of characters constantly screaming offensive things at each other. Characters that are nothing but offensive stereotypes acting weird most of the time. Any attempt at comedy is flat as a board. The acting is horrendous. What is Malcolm McDowell even doing here? And why can't Scott Eastwood pick better projects?

Michael Fassbender deserves a mention here because he starred in two of those shitty movies. I don't understand why he's trying so hard to kill his career.

And now the good news, my top 10 best movies of 2017. But before starting with that, there are a lot of honourable mentions (what can I say, 2017 was a great year for movies)

The Big Sick, The Meyerowitz Stories, Molly's Game, Mudbound, Okja, The Shape of Water, Wind River, Wonder Woman

#10 Logan Lucky

The story is engaging and entertaining, it has several twists and takes interesting turns that keep you interested from start to finish. There are a few pointless subplots though. Anyway, there's a great balance between comedy and drama. The stupid and dry humour is always funny. And the cast is amazing, especially Daniel Craig. 

#9 Baby Driver

It's has a simple and already-seen plot, but the pacing is so good, the film ends up being so exciting, suspenseful and a little unpredictable as well. It's got great characters, each with their distinctive personality that makes each one of them stand out and the cast does a wonderful job bringing them to life. The humour works beautifully. The editing is pretty much perfect. The action sequences are cool and the soundtrack fits the film to perfection.

#8 War for the Planet of the Apes

This is not your typical blockbuster. It is emotional and moving but especially thought-provoking. Genuine emotions are captures in most of the scene. The story is engaging and suspenseful from start to finish, even if you have seen the original series. The character of Caesar reaches such a complexity as the film digs deep into his morals, values and beliefs. And Andy Serkis's performance is flawless. 

#7 On Body and Soul

Best foreign picture nominee (and my winner), this film has a very bizarre and original story that draws you in immediately. The love story in unusual and developed in an even more unusual setting, it's the kind of love story that keeps you on the edge of your seat waiting for a happy ending that may never come. The characterization is outstanding and so are the performances. The best part? Easily the photography with its cold colours and close-up of face and nature.

#6 Logan

Hands down one of the best comic book movies ever made. It's dark, beautiful, powerful and emotional. Instead of focusing on action and CGI, as movies of the genre do, Logan focuses on its characters. It shows sides of characters we know that we didn't even know existed, like their vulnerability. It's a movie about ageing and family. And the performances are top-notch, with both Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart deserving an Oscar nomination.

#5 I, Tonya

Biographies have the tendency to be boring, but not this one. Villeneuve's approach to Tonya Harding's story is fantastic. The mockumentary-style works beautifully, and the breaking of the fourth wall allows a deeper study of Harding's character. There's a great balance between comedy and drama. The cast is wonderful. 

#4 Dunkirk

Only Christopher Nolan could make me love a war movie. To be honest though, this isn't your typical war movie. It doesn't have a main character(s)/hero to root for. Instead, it has a lot of thin, not-developed characters and that's the film's greatest strength. Nolan wanted to tell the story of Dunkirk not the story of a soldier, and that's exactly what he did. It's moving and powerful and visually breathtaking. I still cry if I picture Kenneth Branagh saying "home".

#3 The Disaster Artist

The film about the making of the Citizen Kane of bad films is arguably the best comedy of the year. It's got an engaging and fun plot, great humour but most of all, a heartwarming friendship beautifully delivered by the Franco brothers. And how inspiring this film is! 

#2 Coco

I didn't even want to see it because it looked like a copy of The Book of Life. I'm glad I did because it's one Pixar's best films, if not the best. It's got a charming, emotional, engaging and complex story that deals with themes such as death, love, passion and family in a kid-friendly way. The characters are wonderful. The animation breathtaking --there's a scene where Miguel plays the guitar and his fingers are placed where our would if we were playing it. Also, it really captures the spirit of the Mexican culture.

#1 Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

I loved Martin McDonagh's other two films and I was excepting to love this one too, but I wasn't expecting to love it this much. It's brilliant, suspenseful and engaging. Not a single line of dialogue is wasted, there's the perfect balance between comedy and drama, it's got very complex characters and the perfomrances are mind-blowing. Not to mention the ending, one of the best ending in cinematic history.

And now everything else

Best Actor: James Franco, The Disaster Artist

(2nd Hugh Jackman, Logan, 3rd Robert Pattinson, Good Time)

Franco's portrayal of Tommy Wiseau is magnificent He captures the weirdness and eccentricities of this mysterious man without being offensive. He nails the accent, the posture, the walk, the laugh, every single gesture of Wiseau. He delivers every single line as Wiseau would do. He is hilarious but even more effective in the dramatic scenes.

Best Actress: Margot Robbie, I, Tonya

(2nd Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, 3rd Vicky Krieps, Phantom Thread)

Not only my favourite performance of the year but one of my all-time favourite, Margot Robbie's portrayal of Tonya Harding is funny, dramatic, emotional and physical. She doesn't play Tonya, she is Tonya. And you can see that especially in two scenes, the one you see above and the courtroom scene. 

Best Supporting Actor: Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

(2nd Idris Elba, Molly's Game, 3rd Woody Harrelson, Three Billboard Outside Ebbing, Missouri)

Many are bitching about Rockwell winning award after award for playing a racist asshole, I acknowledge his performance as a work of art. He is extraordinary in this. He even makes you feel sympathy for his character. If that's not an award-worthy performance, frankly, I don't know what it is. 

Best Supporting Actress: Allison Janney, I, Tonya

(2nd Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird, 3rd Mary J. Blige, Mudbound)

Janney plays a rather thin character, Tonya Harding's violent, abusive mother, and yet she manages to stand out with a fantastic performance. 

Best Cinematography: Blade Runner 2049

Best line: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

I know he ain't your rapist. He is a rapist, though. - Dixon (Sam Rockwell)