Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

No! Ho! Ho! What a terrible Christmas movie Christmas with the Kranks is. It's not like I had some sort of expectations for this anyway, especially after seeing that scene (impossible to unsee) where Tim Allen is wearing only slips and he is so not rocking a fake tan.

What does that have to do with Christmas? Well, Luther Krank (Tim Allen) and his wife Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) decide to skip Christmas and go on a cruise instead. That's why Mr. Krank gets a tan. Anyway, it's easier said than done, and their friends and neighbours get pretty pissed off. But when their daughter (Julie Gonzalo) and her finacée (René Lavan) decides to come home at the last minute, they must put together a holiday celebration.

That's a way too thin plot to make an entire film, so obviously it was doomed to fail. To that, add the fact that it's utterly stupid, clichéd and predictable. It's supposed to be heartwarming, and spreading joy and making you love Christmas, but I didn't experience that. There's something the Kranks did towards the end though that was a bit redeeming (I'm not saying what, just in case you're still interested in seeing this). 

Columbia Pictures
The characters aren't any better. They are given absolutely no depth, and both writers and actors are to be blamed. The first because they weren't able to write anything decent, only a couple of very unlikable main characters we are supposed to care about; the latter because they weren't able to save the mess the first did. Actually, they didn't even try. Also, I didn't like Jamie Lee Curtis as Nora. She was so not believable in the role of the housewife. The relationships between the characters, the Krans and their neighbours and friends, aren't given more depth. 

Then there was the humour. Or should I say the lack of it? A film with this kind of plot should rely on a mix of slapstick and dark humour to work, and that's what Christmas with the Kranks does. Kinda. They tried but the comedy barely works. I think I chuckled a couple of times total. 


  1. It's one of the worst films I had ever seen. Not only is it not funny but the characters are all despicable. Why should I even care about them? They're all nutcases and so selfish. Plus, I never ever want to see Tim Allen in a speedo ever again.

    1. God, if I knew I would see something like that, I would have never watched this. I just can't get it out of my head.