Aloha (2015)

Although Emma Stone is the only reason I watched Aloha, I was still expecting it to be a nice romantic comedy, after all, it was written and directed by Cameron Crowe, the same man who wrote and directed the beautiful Almost Famous. Now my question is, how does someone go from writing something like that to writing something like this?

Brian Gilcrest (Bradley Cooper) is a former Air Force pilot turned into a military defence contractor. He is hired by a billionaire (Bill Murray) to supervise the launch of a private rocket from a military base in Hawaii. But things get a bit complicated with the Hawaiian leader (Dennis Kanahele). As if that wasn't enough, his ex-girlfriend Tracy (Rachel McAdams), now married with kids, is there and an alluring Air Force pilot (Emma Stone) assigned to watch over him.

Honestly, I'm not even sure that makes any sense. The whole plot is so non-sense, thin and stupid, and it tries to be too many things at the same thing, failing on all fronts. Also, the film is supposed to be a romantic comedy, but the lack of romance and comedy and the way the story is developed make it look more like an action thriller, minus the action and the thrills of the genre. 

Have I mentioned that it's also very confusing? I wasn't even sure what was going on at some point in the movie. I guess the reason is that a lot of events happen but they don't make a lot of sense. Actually, the whole plot is like a collection of pointless conversations that try so hard to be philosophical but end up being just a tedious exchange of words.

Columbia Pictures, 20th Century Fox
The characters are pretty bad too. Sure, Crowe tries to give each some sort of characterization, still they come off as a bunch of one-dimensional characters. Development is nowhere to be found. And can we talk about the fact that for half of the film Bradley Cooper's character hates Emma Stone's character and then, like in a second, he is deeply in love with her? I mean, wow. And that love triangle between Cooper-McAdams-Stone, I'm sorry Cameron but it just doesn't work. If anything, it feels awkward, but not awkward in a way a love triangle is supposed to be. 

Writing a very bad script isn't Crowe's only accomplishment in Aloha. Nope, he was also able to get terrible performances from every single actor in the film. Each actor looks as confused as I was, as if they don't even know what was going on. There's no chemistry between Cooper and Stone, or Cooper and McAdams. Bradley Cooper is charming but not charming enough to distract you from this mess. Emma Stone is (a) miscast -- she plays Allison Ng, a character that's supposed to have Chinese and Hawaiian heritage -- and therefore is never believable and (b) she looks like a meth-head for half of the movie. At the beginning, she was talking so fast I had to use subtitles to understand what she was saying. I'm a fast-talker, but I could never be able to talk that fast. Rachel McAdams is utterly irritating. John Krasinski, Bill Murray and Alec Baldwin are completely wasted in this. 

16 comments :

  1. I kinda now wanna see just how bad it is, it does have a pretty stellar cast. I love me some Rachel Mcadams, Bradley Cooper and Bill Murray. Not a fan of Emma Stone though, doesn't she look like a meth head all the time? Like in Birdman. I mean, her beauty is fading fast and she's just in her 20s. Last movie her beauty was at its peak was Superbad, ten years ago. Them ginger genes though. Rachel Mcadams still looks amazing in her late 30s. Btw Cameron Crowe directed one of my favorites: Vanilla Sky! Almost Famous was great, too. What did you think of Vanilla Sky? I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.

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    1. Yes, like in Birdman. Only there she played a more complex, and f**ked up character, and the performance suited the character.

      I wasn't crazy about Vanilla Sky to be honest. But I guess it's because I saw the original version. Here's my full review http://afilmadaybysonia.blogspot.com/2015/10/vanilla-sky-2001.html

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  2. I skipped this one when it came out because of the reviews. It sounds like a damn mess.

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  3. I saw some trailer for this and even from the trailers, it looked like a mess. I have no desire to see this flick.

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    1. I didn't see the trailer but I think I would have watched it anyway.

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  4. I heard it was terrible despite the people behind the movie. I also heard they got into hot water on the PR level because they whitewashed the cast. I'm pretty sure Stone's character in the book its based on was suppose to be either Asian or Eurasian.

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    1. That's the funny thing, this is not based on a book, Crowe wrote it.

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  5. Omg, I forgot this movie even existed. I too saw it for Emma Stone and I can't believe how terrible it ended up being!

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    1. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who went through hell for her.

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  6. Oh man. Definitely one of the worst films I saw in the theaters. I was able to recover it from it quickly by going to see Mad Max: Fury Road later that day. Never in my life in having seen bad movies in a movie theater did a film fucking infuriate me in such a way. Here's my notorious review of the film and I went Dae-su on the motherfucker. I will never watch anything by Cameron Crowe ever again. Elizabethtown was one thing in how unoriginal it was and the fact that the casting of the film was uninspired. This film however is an example of what not to do whenever a filmmaker chooses to play it safe and become too comfortable in his own bullshit. Fuck Cameron Crowe.

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    1. I haven't seen Elizabethtown and now I have even less interest in watching it.

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  7. I guess I should be impressed you made it t the end haha. Sounds dire. What a waste of a cast. Almost Famous was great, as was Jerry Maguire. Sad.

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    1. I haven't seen Jerry Maguire yet but I'm planning on watching it soon so I can forget about this. Maybe.

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  8. Awesome review! I found this on TV the other day and was completely confused. It's almost mind-boggling how lost the actors looked in so many scenes.

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