Charlie's Angels (2000)

I never watched the popular TV series and if it wasn't for Sam Rockwell, I would have never watched Charlie's Angels either. I don't know what it is, but there's something about it that seems to be screaming, shitty movie alert. Well, my gut was right. This is a shitty movie.

After stopping a man from blowing up an aeroplane, Natalie (Cameron Diaz), Dylan (Drew Barrymore) and Alex (Lucy Liu), also known as Charlie's Angels --Charlie is a mysterious dude we, the Angels and the audience, are not allowed to see-- are hired by programmer Eric Knox (Sam Rockwell) to retrieve his voice-recognition software that has been stolen. The suspicion falls on Roger Corwin (Tim Curry), Knox's rival. 

That's the storyline. The development is a whole different thing. Actually, there's no development, and the film drags on for way too long with so many subplots it's hard to keep count. It seems like the filmmakers were trying to make the film more complex, but they only made it more laughable. There are some twists but they are predictable *SPOILER*I saw the one about Rockwell coming as soon as he showed up at the beginning of the film*SPOILER* and so many plotholes you need to shut your brain and keep logic away if you don't want to get frustrated. Because of that, the plot is not engaging nor interesting. 

The awful characters and the equally awful performances sure don't help. If you are a woman, like me, who is interested in seeing strong female characters and girl power, like me, then stay the hell away from Charlie's Angels. The Angels are one-dimensional and quite offensive, to be honest. They are supposed to be female James Bond but they are more like Bond girls trying to fight crime. Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu can't act. Period. Drew Barrymore is usually a better actress but the poor script doesn't allow her to do much. She is still able though to be funny and kind of sexy at the same time.

Columbia Pictures

The supporting characters are just as bad. The good guys deserve a special mention for being as interesting as watching paint dry. There's even a ridiculous and quite frankly embarrassing performance from Bill Murray. The bad guys, that's a different story. And the actors playing them deserve full credits. Both Sam Rockwell and Tim Curry give pretty awesome performances. They are not phenomenal but they easily steal the show. 

Next up is the action, just as terrible as everything else. The action sequences are cheesy and beyond laughable. How do they even dare to call this action? 

If you want to see Cameron Diaz's ass though and Lucy Liu acting like a dominatrix, Charlie's Angels is perfect for you.